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Category Archive: Mabel’s Voices

1. Mabel’s Voices

   December 1, 2016 4:15 pm Leave a Comment

   “When a woman tells the truth she is creating the possibility for more truth around her.”

   -Adrienne Rich

2. Voting Stories

   August 10, 2016 2:40 pm Leave a Comment

   In celebration of Women’s Equality Day, the next few posts will be focused on women’s experiences voting. We’d love to hear your story as well. Why do you vote? What issues bring you to the polls? What was it like voting for the first time? Maybe you choose not to vote, why? Have you ever had trouble registering to vote? We want all the stories! Tell us your story here.

   Peggy, age 98, Wisconsin

   “My mother was a suffragette and spoke about the days before women could vote.  Her first vote was in the town of Conrad, Montana where she and her family homesteaded.  Then, when I turned 21 – that was when we were allowed to vote in those days – I voted in the 1940 elections in Minneapolis, MN.  How proud I was and how proud my father was when I entered the polling booth.  I do not recall the Spring elections but I do remember the presidential elections later that year.  I have voted in every single election since my first vote – often by absentee ballot after we retired and we started our retirement travel.  And, now, a woman is running for President.  How things have changed!”

    

   Anonymous, age  90, Maine

   “I was raised in a democratic family and was always told the democrats were for working people. I began voting at age 21 or 22 and was proud that I voted for Franklin Delano Roosevelt and John Kennedy. I stopped voting about 25 years ago. I don’t think my vote matters. I have had to work very hard and over the years I’ve had several jobs to support my family and I was in a physically and emotionally abusive relationship. I just did not have the time or energy to vote.”

3. We All Have Bad Days

   May 25, 2016 6:44 pm Leave a Comment

   Catherine Frederick’s Story told on May 19, 2016 at Mabel Wadsworth Center’s Annual Dinner Celebration

   We have bad days, long weeks, and difficult years. For me, February 2015 was the endpoint of a disparaging brutish year. It was early in the month and I was staring at a positive pregnancy test. It was the fourth test I had taken that day with the same daunting result. I was baffled, confused, angry, and scared. Initially, my brain refused to accept the outcome. I made every attempt to reconstruct the previous months. I tried to imagine and capture my monthly flow. There was a two-month gap of uncertainty and my mind worked like a Rolodex as I attempted to retrace my contraceptive prescriptions. I had been on the pill at the time. I had been responsible. Or so I thought. For several hours I laid on the cold floor of my bathroom, internally processing the potential of a skipped day. I was tired and confused and vague memories were my only clues. Time passed but everything felt so still. My body was limp but my brain was racing in a frantic state. I had somehow convinced myself that if I could solve an imagined equation of events my pregnancy test would be invalid.  Of course, I understood false positives were impossible, yet my psyche remained unconvinced. I eventually contacted a close and dear friend and shared my uncertainty, my choice to abort, and my overflowing anxiety.

   An added complication: I was in an abusive relationship with a man who frequently expressed that abortion was not an option he was willing to accept. In the course of 10 years, 3 women he had dated became pregnant, all of whom had sought abortions without his counsel. Already abusive and controlling, the concept that a woman would, in his words, refuse to acknowledge his choice in the matter, infuriated him. Naturally, I feared his retaliation should he discover my predicament. Another fact:  I lacked necessary funds for an abortion. Graduate students are not renowned for their overly generous stipends. If I had been single I might have managed to pull together the funds. However, I was solely responsible for the financial care and support of myself and my abuser. You could imagine that severe depression, anxiety, and fear were a constant state of mind. Intuitively I knew there were options but my mind lacked the clarity or emotional capacity to construct a rational and sound approach. It was my conviction, however, that I could not, under any circumstance, subject a child to my financial and emotional constraints.

   

   Terry Marley-DeRosier, WHNP with Catherine Frederick at the Annual Dinner Celebration

   In the context of our conversation, my friend assured me that i was not alone and that I needed to not worry. A plan was manageable and options were available. I am confident she said more, but I was exhausted and the finer details are difficult to recall. I do know that she encouraged contact with Spruce Run regarding my situation. I did as she asked and fell asleep. I woke up the next day fretting over my situation. I trusted my friend, but it was easy to anticipate the pieces that could fall apart. Within 24 hours of our initial conversation my phone rang and Private Number flashed across my telephone screen. In Maine, there is only one place I associate with a Private Number: Mabel Wadsworth. I held my breath and answered as my beating heart slowed to a still. I was introduced to a founder and immediately noted her gentle yet firm and reassuring voice. It was revealed funding was available for the cost of my treatment, if I wished to pursue my decision. I wish I could express the emotions that proceeded, but there was nothing eloquent in my reception of such news. I had quite literally turned into a messy ball of tears and a barrage of thank yous. With good news in hand and encouragement from Spruce Run, I also managed to contact my abuser and explain that I was seeking an abortion, he was no longer welcome in my home, and that when he found his own space,  his personal effects would find their way in boxes. With financial support and the reclamation of my life I knew I could proceed. In that moment, I felt strong, capable, and incredibly vulnerable. I met with the health practitioners at the center and discovered that I was early in pregnancy. At a time when most doctors would ask a patient to wait before proceeding, Dr. Savidge was willing to remove the material from my uterus.  Although Dr. Savidge was not privy to the entirety of my story, I think it’s safe to say that his years of service molded natural intuition that an early stage abortion was critical for my emotional recovery.

   I truly believe that if access to a safe abortion was restricted:

   ·       I could be a welfare mother
   ·       I may have not earned my PhD candidacy, an achievement as of January this year.
   ·       My decision may have not been my own or my abuser may have had final say. 
   ·       I may still be with a domestically abusive male.
   ·       And an early, safe, and legal termination in the first trimester may have been impossible, hindering my recovery.

   At this time, I’d like to thank Mabel Wadsworth Center for the assistance and access to abortion care that they provide through their facility.  With their continued advocacy, my reality is not any one of the circumstances I’ve described. I’m also grateful that their staff provided a safe space for my procedure and access to guidance and counseling during recovery. I also need to thank Dr. Savidge. With complete sincerity, Dr. Savidge is one of the kindest and most empathetic individuals I’ve been under the care of and I am glad to have been his patient. I’d also like to take this time to say thanks for the support and empathy of dear friends and informed colleagues. With their care I was able to recover from the procedure with greater ease. And lastly, I’d like to thank the audience for listening to my story. I hope it shares with you the good work and deeds that Mabel’s does for the women in our community and for the health of our state.

   (Note from Mabel’s: Thank you, Catherine for sharing your story at our Annual Dinner Celebration.)

4. I Wouldn’t Call it Regret

   October 14, 2015 4:04 pm Leave a Comment

   I’m a 48 year old woman, wife and mother of two wonderful children who are now young adults. When I was 34, I was a single mother, struggling to work, finish graduate school, and get sober. I feel like I had been a good mom up until my 34th year when I suddenly left a stable marriage and took up drinking heavily.

   Because I had my kids so young, I rationalized in my mind that I never had a young adulthood. I had a few short-term relationships, one of which resulted in a pregnancy. I found out within days of missing my period because I was scheduled to have surgery. I had broken up with the man who got me pregnant. I grew up Catholic and never in a million years thought I’d be in this position. I was 34, not a teenager.

   I spoke with my doctor and asked what he thought about abortion. He said personally he thought it was ethical if done very early on a pregnancy so not to cause pain to the fetus. That stuck with me and I had my abortions few days after that conversation! I felt it was the best decision at the time. I didn’t want to have another child while raising my own children who were 12 and 8 at the time.

   For the most part, I know I made the right decision and was grateful for a safe medical facility to have it done. Last week when I was leaving my doctor’s office, I drove by some women with signs that said “Pray to end abortion” and “I regret my abortion.” That made me really sad and I’ve been thinking about my abortion ever since. Even though now I’m very happily married, I’ve been going through horrible empty nest syndrome and rethinking my choice. If I hadn’t had an abortion, I’d still have a 13 year old at home. Maybe it would have been another daughter. My own daughter isn’t close to me like she used to be. So, in my head I know I made the right decision for the place and time but since seeing that damn sign, I’ve felt a sadness. I wouldn’t call it regret but definitely sadness.

   -Donna

   Note from Mabel Wadsworth Center:
   If you need someone to talk to about your abortion experience don’t hesitate to reach out. Here are a couple great resources:

   Exhale: 1-866-4-EXHALE
   Exhaleprovoice.org

   Backline: 1.888.493.0092
   Yourbackline.org

5. From the Bottom of My Heart

   October 9, 2015 6:31 pm Leave a Comment

   Mabel Wadsworth Women’s Health Center,

   From the moment I first called to make an appointment to the moment I walked out the door afterward, I never once felt uncomfortable, unsafe, or judged. Instead, I felt safe, comfortable, understood, and respected. The attention that was paid to ensure all of these conditions was incredible and the empathy and compassion I was treated with went above and beyond what I ever could have anticipated, expected, or hoped for. An experience that could have been negative and horrible was met with such care and compassion that I felt completely confident and at ease.

   I know it must be challenging at times to face the type of opposition that practices like this often do, so I wanted to make sure that you knew that this practice, and most importantly, the people who work there, provide a necessary service in a manner that positively impacts the lives of your patients. Without the support of the staff at Mabel Wadsworth Women’s Health Center, I never would have made it through this with the confidence and conviction I have, no matter how sure of myself I may act. Everyone needs support in situations such as this and I was provided that from every member of the staff I encountered, which meant more to me than I will ever be able to articulate.

   I am having a very hard time finding the words to adequately express the gratitude I feel, so I will simply say this –

   Thank you from the bottom of my heart, for guiding me through this experience with such care for my physical and emotional needs and well-being, for offering me kind words of encouragement, strength, and compassion, for figuratively and literally offering me a hand when I needed it, and for reminding me that I am brave. I will be forever grateful for the care I was provided with at the Mabel Wadsworth Women’s Health Center.

   With all the sincerity and gratitude I possess,

   Mabel Wadsworth Center Client